


Take Me Into Your Arms

by sokisshimagain



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, M/M, Sad, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Sort of? - Freeform, but a happy ending, everyones sad, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:14:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4172490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sokisshimagain/pseuds/sokisshimagain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was destroying Harry by loving him, but if he left Harry would only be destroyed quicker. And if Louis had to leave Harry, his heart would be shattered immediately, yet if he stayed his mind would only become more and more broken while his heart too broke slowly.</p><p>No matter what, it seemed they would both lose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Me Into Your Arms

“Do you love me?” Louis’ voice was soft and Harry barely heard it.

“I love you, but I wish I didn’t.” He answered, his own voice about the same volume as his boyfriend’s had been. Louis was hurt by the words, but he understood how Harry felt. Of course he would never agree with it, or feel that way himself, but Harry had always been different than he. Or maybe Louis was the different one. 

While he was completely okay with being in love with another man, Harry was not. Either way, this had long been the greatest conflict in their relationship. Could they even consider it a relationship, he wondered? For Louis it was not strange to love his best friend. It was strange to live with him, know him so completely and yet rarely be able to understand the things he did.

There was a pattern to their relationship though. Every time Louis said he loved him, or touched him in anyway, Harry would either go ballistic or just cry. Tonight seemed to be one of those nights where he would just cry. 

After telling Louis he wished he did not love him, Harry had fallen to the floor on his knees and was now just sitting there, sobbing brokenly. Louis ached to hold him, but knew that was more than likely not what Harry wanted.

It was not like Louis forced the man to stay with him, if anything it was the other way around. If Louis ever wanted to leave his lover, he would be begged not to, they both knew that, but they also knew Louis would never try. Harry was Louis’ forever. He was the only one he had ever loved and the only one he ever would.

No matter how many times his love’s words would hurt him; he would forgive him because they always soothed the pain away as well. Louis couldn’t come up with any singular reason for why he loved Harry. He would never be able to say why he forgave him for everything he did. The best answer he could really give was simply that he loved him no matter what.

It was a dedication that had to be admired, but feared at the same time. The dedication was something that ultimately could destroy him, but he had never realized that. While Louis had his fierce dedication, Harry had self-hatred. 

He could never and would never hate Louis though. No matter how he wished it was not true, Harry was completely and irrevocably in love with him.

Things had not always been awful between them. There was once a time when they were in love both happily. The last time they had both been truly happy was over a year ago though. It had been long days, weeks and months of self-hatred and fear.

Harry hated himself, while Louis feared for his safety and Harry’s mental stability. Louis had slowly been growing to hate himself too though. He was destroying Harry by loving him, but if he left Harry would only be destroyed quicker. And if Louis had to leave Harry, his heart would be shattered immediately, yet if he stayed his mind would only become more and more broken while his heart too broke slowly.

No matter what, it seemed they would both lose. Louis wished there was some way to go back to when things had been good. Feeling his own tears come to his eyes, he ached to feel his lover’s touch; unable to resist, even knowing the consequences that could come from it, he moved to drop in front of Harry, curling in against the man’s warm chest.

Louis felt Harry’s arms circle him gentle and relief swept through him. They sat there together on the floor, sobbing in each other’s arms. It seemed like hours to Louis, but was probably only minutes. It had been so long since his love had simply held him. And though they were both in pain, Louis was so thankful for the show of love he was getting. He was being held. It was one of the simplest gestures, but meant the world to him anyway.

Louis tried to quell the hope that was blossoming in his chest, but he really could not help it. Although Louis and Harry were both now at their lowest points in time, it also seemed like things were about to look up. Louis loved any day he had with Harry, even the hard ones, but he had to admit, this was the best one he had in a long time.


End file.
